Chin-ups and Buttercups

It has been awhile since I have blogged here. My lack of diligence hasn't been for a lack of exercising or a lack of health. I just haven't had much time, and faced with the choice of staying spiritually and physically healthy, or blogging, the choice has been pretty obvious. Actually, thinking about it, the fact that it is obvious to me, when it hasn't always been so evident, to me is confirmation that there is change going on in my heart! And, not gonna lie, change is S-L-O-W in this stubborn heart of mine.

This past Easter, I was reading the end of the book of John and was SLAIN. Whoa geez. I don't know how I've missed it all these years, because it seems so unmistakeable, but it was definitely something I never noticed. Hopefully, even if you've noticed this before, or, if you're more like me and have glossed over this part a million times, it will encourage your heart today.

By the time the closing chapters of John come around, Peter has already denied Jesus three times (Jn 18). He has remembered Jesus' prediction and has wept bitterly (Lk 22:61-62). He probably has also struggled with Jesus' teaching in Matthew 10, where Jesus says, "...but whoever denies me before men, I will also deny before my Father who is in heaven." These words must have clung to Peter's heart and haunted him, leaving him hopeless. Then, Jesus is crucified, dying a gruesome and what must have felt like a hopeless death. When John 21 rolls around, Peter has probably given up hope in His Saviour. In fact, Peter declares that he is going back to his old identity: that of a fisherman. Some other disciples join him.

They fish all night, but catch nothing. Sound familiar?

At the beginning of Luke, on the day when Jesus calls Peter for the first time, Peter has been fishing all night and has caught nothing (Lk 5:5). Enter Jesus, who tells Peter to try casting his net down again. They end up catching so much fish that their nets begin to break. Peter calls his friends over in another boat, and both boats are so full that they begin to sink. Peter is SO moved, so convicted by this that he falls down at Jesus' knees saying, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man." At the end of the story, Peter and the other fishermen are given new identities. They are now going to be fishers of men. They leave everything and follow Jesus.

So, after the huge mess of denying Jesus and after the crushing blow of seeing Jesus die on the cross, John must have felt hopeless. Hopeless enough to go back to his old identity, to his old job of fishing for regular fish. Also feeling guilty and also ridiculously dumb for believing so much and yet so little in the man of Jesus.

But then. As the day is breaking, Jesus appears on the shores. None of the disciples recognize him, but He tells them to cast their nets over the side of the boat, and there are so many fish that they can't haul their catch in! Their nets are so full, and yet, the net does not tear. It's a total déja vu, and a stark reference back to those first days of Jesus' ministry. It is then that they recognize Jesus.

When they come back to land, they see a charcoal fire where Jesus has prepared food for them. The words charcoal fire only appear one other time in the New Testament... in John 18, when Peter is warming his hands over a fire and ends up denying Jesus.

THIS. This is such a beautiful picture of redemption. Where Peter literally gets to start all over again. Where, after a time of melancholy over his choices, and feeling let down by His Saviour, Jesus shows him that he has an opportunity to begin afresh. I'm sure that as all of this was happening, Peter was reminded of those first days of walking alongside Jesus. Even setting up the charcoal fire, Jesus shows Peter that He knows when and where Peter had spurned Him, that He knows when and where Peter had rejected and denied him. But instead of reciprocating, instead of giving Peter what he deserves, Jesus chooses instead to provide for Peter and the other disciples.

Every day, I make choices. More often than not, I make poor choices. When it comes to eating, I deny my Saviour and eat food that won't satisfy and that disrespects the body that He has gifted me.  When it comes to exercise, I often prize laziness over endurance. But the physical realm isn't only where I make poor choices; I also make poor choices in other areas of my life. Sometimes (I write this with tears in my eyes), I even feel ashamed to speak of Jesus or tell my friends about Him. Romans 7:15-20 is a huge reality in my life. I have a new identity, but I often revert back to acting like my old self.

But Peter's story is our story!  Every day, nay, every moment, is an opportunity for us to reset and come before our Saviour and walk in step with Him. He doesn't offer condemnation. He offers redemption. He doesn't tell us to shape up and try harder in order for Him to offer us salvation. Instead, He offers Himself freely, and provides for us. He provides for our greatest need--to be saved from slavery and death-- and gives us completely new identities.

Peter would fail again (see Gal 2), and so will we. But His mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22-23). That is a Very. Good. Promise. Full of hope for today and tomorrow, and all those times we fail.