wherein which i resurrect the blog to talk about the flu vaccine.

So this past week, I posted this article with the following message:

"Hey friends! Because this year's flu strain has started earlier and is reportedly stronger, we are asking anyone who plans on visiting us to get their flu shot as soon as possible. We recognize that not everyone is on board with the flu shot, nor does it protect against all strains of the flu, but with a baby under one year old, we are asking that if you choose not to get the flu shot that you either a) nor visit our household or b) wear a mask throughout the duration of your visit."

I honestly didn't even really think much about it afterwards. Until I started getting messages from multiple friends asking me if I was really making the flu shot mandatory in order for friends and family to visit. So, this post is an address to said friends. This isn't a passive aggressive response. It is not an ultimatum.  If you, dear friends, choose not to get the flu shot, you will still be more than welcome in our home (albeit, likely with a mask on, and a request to not touch or hold our child..). But so many of you have mentioned the same excuses for not getting the shot, so  i thought I would address these in one fell swoop.

Listen, I'm not a germaphobe. In our marriage, I'm not even really the 'clean' one. I don't walk around with a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, and even during the times that I have had a bottle of hand sanitizer, I've by and large purchased it because it smelled nice. I am not prone to health phobias of any kind and I wouldn't say I have a penchant towards hypochondria. I consider myself a fairly well-read person, and I don't just read click-bait; I often read legitimate journal articles and make well-educated decisions based on science and research that is up to date. And, to toot my own horn, this past week alone, two doctors, both specialists that my daughter was seeing, asked me if I work in the medical field.

So look, I didn't make the decision to ask my friends and family to get the flu shot because I jumped on the cavalcade of paranoia after forjudeforeveryone became viral.

I made the decision because I became educated after having a child. I too used to think, "what's the point? I am healthy and rarely get the flu, if ever." I also used to think that the flu shot was for the frail or for the germaphobe, and that it was most likely a hoax. It was not worth the 20-30 minutes out of my day to go get one, not to mention the sore arm, for something that wouldn't be of benefit to me.

But now, I have a child; to most people, I probably look like an anxious, irrational mother, who has gone "soft" because of the doe-eyed baby that has won my heart.

Let me tell you. I have not become soft. I have not become a mom who is always only about her baby and does not care about anyone else. I am not the mom who doesn't like her child to get remotely close to dirt; in fact, I believe that some dirt is good for said child, and she may or may not have worn pants all week that have had food chunks stuck to them.

Yes, I have become a mom who has a great deal more compassion for those around me. Yes, I have become a mom who weeps when she reads an internet story about a child dying of the flu. Heck, I now weep at kleenex commercials and Budwiser puppy commercials.

But I can guarantee you, my emotions are not what drove me to make the decision to ask our friends and family to get the flu vaccine.

I know that the flu vaccine does not prevent the flu. I understand that at best, when it matches the same strain, it hovers around a 60% efficacy rate. I understand that compared to other vaccines, it is not as effective. I understand that there are multiple strains of the flu, and that even if you and I and my child get vaccinated, we all could still catch the flu. When you read things like this (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25340911) it might seem like the vaccination isn't worth it. I mean, almost 25% of vaccinated people caught the flu. Until you read something like this (http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0050228#s3) and realize that umm... 25% is waaay better than 80%. (Source: https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/why-get-a-flu-shot/). Let me refer you to this document for answers to some of the most popular misconceptions: http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/misconceptions.htm

But at the end of the day, statistics aside, this IS a personal matter.

Because I have a child.

I have a child who is on day 16 of diarrhea between 6-10 times per day. Whose immune system is already taxed.

And if I'm asking you to get the flu shot, it's because I believe in herd immunity (http://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.0050211), and I am begging and pleading with you to love my child enough to try anything to keep her safe.

I am trusting you to care for my child because you are a close enough friend that you would come over to my house on a frequent basis. Listen. If you get the flu, you might stay home for a few days and recover. But children and the elderly have a harder time dealing with the flu and experience more complications than the average adult. They are at more risk for hospitalization and death. And lest you think this is fear mongering, children dying of the flu is a reality.(http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/23/peds.2013-1493)

So I am asking you, a healthy adult, a dear friend, a maternal or paternal influence to my child, to get the flu shot. Because twenty minutes of inconvenience, or even the potential for your own sickness (although getting the flu from the flu shot has largely been disproven) is still better than my child getting the flu.

And let me say this, even if the flu shot is a hoax; even if I am just an irrational mother; even if I am a hypochondriac in denial; even if I'm just plain selfish for asking you to do this, do this for me because you are my friend and you trust me.

I want you to be able to come over and hold my child and play with her. Motherhood is lonely enough and filled with enough stressors. I don't want you to stay away. And I don't want to have to make a choice between our friendship and the health of my child. Is it excessive for me to ask you to do this for me? Perhaps. Is it selfish? Probably a little. But if a dear friend asked me to stand in a store, stub my toe, clap my hands, turn around and touch my toes, and even perhaps catch a mild sickness for the sake of their child, even if I thought they were crazy, I just might do it, because sacrifice is something I am willing to do for the sake of someone in need.

My life is built around the premise that Someone else sacrificed for the sick and broken, to protect them, and to drag them out of harm's way. I would do that for you and I am asking you, and beseeching you to at least consider doing the same for me.